May 28, 2009- Cancer Results

May 28, 2009

So much has been going through my mind lately, but I will touch upon that in the next blog.  The few days leading up to yesterday were internally stressful.  Couldn’t sleep, even though I felt exhausted.  Digestive system out of order; need I say more.  Just waiting for the results this time was hell.  I just knew nothing miraculous was going to come from those results.  For me it was just going to reveal “how bad” the cancer had spread, and where it all is now.

My older daughter took me to the appointment yesterday and accompanied me into the room.  She wanted to be there to hear the news, I wanted to protect her from the news.  I let her make the decision however, so she sat beside me as the doctor made her entrance.  First thing the Doc said as she motioned for me to join her next to the computer to review my results was “Well, everything we have done has not worked”.  I’m like “Okay” let’s get into this.

So the results confirmed the cancer is technically “progressive cancer” once again.  The tumor marker numbers increased yet again from three weeks ago.  That last round of Xeloda (chemo) did nothing.  My effected left breast (where the cancer started) showed a drastic increase of 5.07 (the uptake of the radioactive crap they inject intravenously) in an area of 9mm.  Last reading was 1.54 showing only in skin thickening from scar tissue. So there is something new going on in there now.  Previous readings were below 1.0 before things started to turn sour 6 months ago.  See the egg sized tumor had disappeared almost two years ago from treatments.  It appears there is locally recurrent disease.

The new bone cancer on my right lower rib that revealed itself 5 months ago has continued to grow.  It’s uptake jumped from 1.75 to 4.17.  Now the scans however are showing that it may have soft tissue involvement as well in the outer lining of my right lung.  Lower lumbar spine L1 shows increased uptake as well. From 5.42 to 6.89.  Mixed lytic and sclerotic lesion in the sacrum (lower tail bone of spine) jumped from 4.45 to 8.03.  Big increase in mass size.  Other activity in the right hip femoral head, but that is where I have had surgery twice to reconstruct my femur (thigh bone) and hip, due to my ambitious lifestyle.  Lol.  So inflammation could be responsible for that activity showing. No biggie. So you got all that right?

Over all I personally have to find the good news in all this. Even though the cancer numbers have jumped, it all is still in the same general areas that started showing 6 months ago.  Nothing new, except the recurring activity in the left breast.  My abdominal and pelvic area are clear. My head and neck are clear. No fluid in my lungs.  Most awesome is the fact that NONE of my Vital Organs are effected either!!!  See that was expected, but by the grace of God did not come to fruition.  So there is still time. At least more than not.  I am a lucky girl!

Over all I feel pretty darn great.  THEY can say I am supposed to be feeling pain and feeling sicker, but that is not the case.  I have stopped taking all pain meds and all muscle relaxants.  I take Celebrex occasionally now for inflammation pain in my hip and leg. But not everyday as I was.  Yeah I have a high tolerance for pain, but honestly I can usually handle it these days and it is not related to the actual progression of the cancer itself.  I feel good so I am not going to let this knock me down.

My oncologist said the next step would be full intravenous cocktail Chemotherapy.  I shot her down right there on the spot.  (No fears …not with a gun- she’s alive)  I told her I wanted to go back to Hormonal Therapy with a new drug.  I did my homework and went to that appointment yesterday with my own game plan.  So that’s it, I am in control now.

I am getting my Lupron shot tomorrow to shut down my Ovaries once again.  I will be starting Aromasin tomorrow as well.  She is going to check my tumor marker numbers monthly.  If they stay the same or drop then that is indicative that it’s working.  If they continue to climb then it’s not working.  At least I will know I gave it a try and go from there.

I don’t know if I have just become more stubborn, or resilient to the real facts of this battle.  All I know is nothing really scares me too much about all this.  Almost like I don’t believe them anymore. Or is it that I have come to terms with it all and just take each day as it comes? I can’t honestly answer that one. I can do my best to take care of myself and what ever the fall out may be is what it shall be.  I am doing well and will continue to live every moment I have with true zest.  Nothing can knock me down!