April 5, 2006 – Wednesday – I am on the PATCH

 I’m on the patch!

As insane as it may sound, since I have cancer, you would think that would be enough to make one quit smoking. It worked for a while, when I was deliriously in pain and knocked out most the time on pain meds. But since I have been feeling better, I have started to crave the nasty things once more. Maybe even more so since I have so much on my mind all the time. Even before I knew I had cancer,I was not a serious smoker anymore. I would smoke a few at night, especially when I was on the computer. Sometimes go a day without smoking any at all. Smoke more when I was socializing and drinking. Now I used to smoke over a pack a day (about a year ago), so getting to that “occasional” point took some time. My Doctor did not seem to concerned about that. He probably figured having cancer would be enough to make me quit for good. But anyway I went to him on Monday and told him my dilemma Told him I do not want to smoke anymore, not only because I have cancer and need to be as healthy as possible, but because I JUST DON’T want to have that addiction any more. I don’t even want to crave them. He was very happy with that choice. So he gave me a prescription for a low dose patch (since I really don’t have that much nicotine in my body). So we will see how this goes and I hope it works. The real test will be when I am writing (another time when I enjoyed – out of habit – those blasted sticks), and when I am on the computer and when around other people who smoke. But I have more of a reason then most to not smoke, so that is my final decision. Wish me luck!