February 13, 2007 ~ A year after the Cancer Diagnoses

 

Just a brief note.  If I am capable of writing something brief.  I have been feeling great and I mean great.  The average person probably has the same aches and pains that I have.  The Big day is getting closer, when the truth will be revealed.  It is kinda scary and I have my moments of freaking out.  After all one year ago today I was having an MRI, and got a call two hours later telling me to get to the Doctors office first thing the next day. Valentines Day is my cancer anniversary.  Not really a good day for me. I have been fighting cancer for a year and I still have it. I was given 2 years to live and now I may very well only have one year left. That is a little depressing to think about, but at the same time health wise I feel 150% better today then I did a year ago. So I can look at it this way.  It took a couple years for the cancer to spread and do the damage it did to my body.  (remember if you will, I was misdiagnosed 4 and half years ago).  So perhaps I should give it that much time to beat it, rid my body of it and completely heal.  I gotta look at it in some way positive right.  A reason.  Oh and my boobs have filled in again, and feel normal, well they feel great! At Least I still have them! 

So I have another Zometa Therapy on Feb 22. (twice this month, my body is handling them so much better now). I go for the entire day on Feb 26th to have all the tests and scans done that I had done a year ago.  We are hoping and praying for a Cancer re staging (only meaning less cancer found).  If it could be reduced from Stage 4, then I have an even better chance of beating this, or atleast a few more years then I was originally given.  I get the results on March 5th.

Now as for the running.  Trying and trying.  Marina went with me Sunday evening and we ran/walked intermittently for 4.5 miles. The toughest part for me right now is actually my left knee and the arch in my left foot.  The good leg.  I guess I have put so much weight on it from limping all year, it has strained it, so when I run it starts hurting.  I will wear a knee brace tonight and see if that helps. And then the breathing and being outta of shape part.  It takes it toll.  I got so frustrated the other night.  I was thinking damn I worked so hard to get my body in shape back when it was and I had worked up to running 5 miles a day. Now I am starting all over again and well even further behind because of the damage to my body now.  UGH!  I have a very long run to get where I was.  But as I said up above, I had to stop and realize I have not been able to run efficiently for 2 years.   It took over 2 years for my body to get in this condition so I can’t expect it to bounce right back, it is going to just take some time.  I can only hope I have that time. Time is precious.

The alternative to all my complaints could be much worse however.  I am here, I am breathing and I am able to walk.  I am truly blessed.  Now lets just pray those new results show some phenomenal results!!!