Jan 28, 2007 ~ Never is Not so Long…

 I was told last May I would never be able to run again, do to the severe condition of my bones from cancer. Spinal damage, brittle bones, terminal cancer….. I proved them all wrong today.  Don’t tell me I CAN’T do something. First I had to work on getting stronger, then  rebuilding some muscles and trying to walk straight. It’s been an ordeal, and quite a journey.  Well I may run a little crooked at this point, but I did it.  Never fell, no broken bones.  Most of you take something so simple for granted, but as I ran down the road, tears filled my eyes.  I was pretty darn proud of myself.  I told you all it was my goal to run again, and this is just the beginning.  So I learned that “never” is not always a true statement.

As many of you know I left last weekend for Texas.  I went home because my Uncle was in very poor condition and they did not expect him to live.  The same man who jumped in his car the very day after I was diagnosed with cancer, even with the health problems he was experiencing then.  He brought me a much needed Hug, so I had to return the favor.  Within one hour of walking in his hospital room he looked so much better, eventually sitting up and talking, talking, talking.  All those memories dancing in his mind became every word Justin and I hung on to. For days, we sat there and listened.  Justin got to hear some stories about his Mother (me) growing up.  Silly things I did.  But most important was the life this amazing man has lived.  “He has been everywhere Man”.  He has been ill for a very long time.  First told in 1979 he had 6 months to live.  He overcame it.  Then lost his left hand to dynamite.  Then told again in 1983 he had less then 6 months.  That’s the way the many years followed.  Lung disease, heart attacks, etc…Every single time they have said his time is up, he proves them wrong. I have never seen anyone who has fought so hard to survive and the courage he exudes.  I am so proud we share the same blood.  I learned a lot about myself this past week.  I got some Uncle Billy in me, and I will never let him down.

Saying our good byes were extremely hard. He and I made a promise to each other that we would both still be here in June and we have all planned a Family Reunion on the weekend that would have been my fathers 69th birthday. It was not a light hearted promise.  But eye to eye, heart to heart holding each others hands.

An hour and a half after Justin and I left, to head back to Florida, I got a dreaded phone call.  About fifteen minutes after we left Uncle Billy had took a turn for the worse, and was rushed back into ICU and emergency surgery followed.  He made it through, then once again experienced failure the next day. His lungs filled with blood, verges of heart failure.  I won’t go into all the details, but what is truly amazing, is he made it again.  He is currently in critical condition, but stabilizing.  I told my Aunt to tell him, he made a promise to me and I intend to hold him to it.  I think he is trying with all he’s got. 

I feel like I am losing my father all over again. NO, I have not given up, but I don’t want him to suffer either.  He said there will be trenches all the way to his grave, from his feet dug into the ground…. because he is not ready just yet.

So if one man can overcome so much and such an amazing will to live, then I can fight my battle and I can Run.  I almost felt like he was my crutch today, he held me up as I ran.  If  I can envelope just half his inner strength and outward courage, I will survive.  I am so very proud of this man, and so fortunate that I have him in my life, and we are a part of each other.

Please keep praying, he is having the fight of his life!