May 12, 2006 – Friday – Finally got my Tattoo’s

 11:06 PM – So I finally got my tattoo’s today

 

It took me long enough, but finally did it. Got four tats. Something that just had to be done. Have two on one hip and one on the other hip and then one on my left shoulder blade. Pretty cool. One is of the world, if you were to see it from a very far off distance, two are tats of freckles and I have not figured out what the other one was supposed to be. He said, let me have artist freedom, and I thought what the heck… go for it. Not sure if that was a good idea now. Maybe it is something obscene, after all it is on my shoulder blade, can’t see it real well. lol. Actually come Monday those tats have a purpose. My radiation begins, and there for those are there for alignment purposes. Not so cool now, huh? So I met with my radiation oncologist today, close to my age and of course — handsome. Just plain pretty to look at. And there was no ring on that hand. lol. Anyway we got along great, he caught on to my sense of humor rather quickly and went with it.

Then the radiation staff did their job of marking me all up. Crosses and dots all over me. Making a open weave fiberglass like mask of my face to hold me weighted down to the table for the neck treatments, so they hit the exact location every time. They also take digital pics during the process so that they can refer to the exact position my body is in each time. I asked for copies of the lovely mask shots. I am telling you I looked like something from a sci-fi movie. Then when they got down to my hip/pelvic area, as I lay there with nothing on, and pretty much exposed. Where is the window for the radiologist and staff to operate the machinery, but right in front of my feet. If I had opened my legs the slightest they would have had a clear shot. So they did the markings and tats and took pics, and I let them know right then I did not want copies of those particular shots. The one lady almost dropped the camera with that comment.

Anyway I start radiation treatment on Monday and have it every day for three weeks. They are specifically targeting the cancer in the hips, the mass in my upper neck from the vertebra’s C1 to C5. And the left scapula (shoulder blade area). That is where most the pain still exist. The hip being important so that the cancer is killed in that area and it can heal. Other wise a big danger I could break my hip and it would not heal because of the cancer. Neck is to relieve the swelling, stiffness and pain associated with the cancer mass and the cancer in those vertebrae. It would be nice to be able to turn my head from side to side. Scapula is mainly for the pain and inflammation that causes nerve problems in my left arm. The doctor can not treat my spine with radiation, where most the cancer exist, because if they did I would NEVER be able to have chemotherapy. Due to the nerves, bone marrow, etc. So he said it was best to wait and see if the other internal med treatments worked first (Tamoxifen and Herceptin), and if they don’t then I will need traditional chemo. Radiation would only be used on the spine after the chemo at that point.

So I pray this works on the cancer in those areas. If it does, as he said today. I could be virtually pain free afterward. At least less pain then what is there now. Some of the pain that might remain will have more to do with my on going back injuries/problems and not the cancer.

Whelp that’s the update. I see a different Oncologist in a week and half for the Herceptin IV injections, bone meds, etc. My cancer team is in place now, and I have the utmost confidence in them. Between the three doctors and a nutritionist, I am covered. The rest is up to me. Everyone walks on egg shells when discussing the finality of all this. Because it is so invasive, it’s as if they would rather think it can’t be cured, because of similar cases. If my frame of mind has anything to do with the outcome of this cancer battle, I am going to WIN. I can just feel it. I honestly don’t see death in my near future. But on that same note, I know it is a possibility, there for each day is a gift to me. And each holiday I share with my children and family, I know may be my last, so it has to be extra special now. This Mothers Day will be one such occasion.

I am doing things now and thinking in ways now that I did not before. Why because I HAVE CANCER. Date younger, date older, buy COACH handbags, buy those $300.00 Nova check Burberry Pajama’s. Get pedicures. Why deprive myself of anything anymore…. excuse me… but I Have Cancer. LOL