May 6, 2006 [Saturday] My dog Nakoma was diagnosed with Cancer

It appears my life could be a very twisted version of a country song. My beloved doggy was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. I took that news much harder then when I was told I had cancer. I did not cry at my own news, but my heart broke and my eyes welled up the minute the vet said the words about Nakoma. I found it hard not to cry all day today. I prayed for God to give it all to me, and let her be. She has been by my side for many months now, and I mean literally by my side since I got really ill. She sleeps right on the floor beside my bed. Back when the pain was rough, she would come over to me and place her face right against mine, and whimper and whine. It hurt her to see me like that. I now have to wonder if perhaps she had the same prayer to God, to take it all from me and give it to her. For I am getting better and now she has cancer too. I know some of you may not understand where I am coming from, but my pets have always been an extension to my family. After all Nakoma has been a part of our family for 11 years now. There is nothing I would not do for her. So we will be seeing a Vet. Oncologist in Sarasota and from there will set the course of her treatment. It is most likely that her leg will have to be amputated. The vet said the treatments would have to be radical radiation and chemo in hopes of at least slowing it down,if it does not cure it. She is experiencing labored breathing as well, but the vet said she is not in much pain, just uncomfortable. The rear leg is swollen extremely large and very hard. She can no longer feel it. Despite all that she is going through she still wags her tail every time I come near her and even as difficult as it is for her to get up, she will do so just so I can pet her. She has learned over the months I can no longer bend over, so she gets up to get some loving. But today I just crawled down on the floor, rested my head on her and wrapped my arms around her to love her at her level. She’s getting lots of that from now on, no matter how difficult it is for me to get up afterward.

There is something else going on too, but not my place to mention it on here just yet. So one has to wonder “why”, why does God keep piling it on. I am soon to break I am sure. After all I am only human.

Good news is my daughter is moving home tomorrow to be closer to home at this time. She had to come home earlier in the week because the bank she is transferring to wanted to meet with her before she starts on Monday. So Tuesday afternoon when she arrived I informed her we were going shopping. And that we did. Just like old times. Clothes were flying and it was a whirlwind, but we got the job done. Even added two more pair of shoes to my collection and one pair to hers. She went with me, I had to get her stuff. But it was fun and only reminded me how wonderful it is going to be to have my best friend back home with me. She makes me feel normal, just not so sick all the time, by doing normal things like power shopping. And Lord knows I had lots of shopping to make up for.

So right now, I have a small request, if you should say a prayer for me could you just say “It’s for Angela and her little doggy too”. She is not so little, but she is my baby cakes and I need her as much as she needs me