Oct. 11, 2006 ~ Living My Best Life

Just getting this info out of the way first….

So I have not heard from the Doctor this week about the results from my MRI last Friday.  I am thinking and hoping, no news is good news.  For when I had an MRI done initially that showed cancer in my bones, it was only two hours from the time I got home from the scan till I heard from my Doctor telling me I needed to come in to his office first thing the next day. This is a different Doctor and a different place did the MRI, but I am still hoping that if anything showed up terribly wrong I would have heard from her by now.  The pain in my neck has let up some.  I have been on Celebrex for about a week now, and I think that has helped. The hip pain, which I can’t really call hip, because I have payed closer attention to it, to notice it is more the top of my leg where it goes into the hip socket.  Well anyway it remains the same.  My limp makes me look like I am trying to be “cool like dat”, and walk like a gangsta or something.  I try so hard to hide it.  I am feeling better, for the most part.  On Monday I felt extremely tired all day and slept the whole day, pretty much, and then last night,.I could not sleep at all.  I finally went to sleep at 8:00 AM this morning. I did watch “Memoirs of a Geisha” at 5:00 AM, it was pretty good.  My days and nights are running together, it gets confusing.  It’s after midnight now so technically the next day.

I am turning 42 tomorrow.  I have decided, I am celebrating  my second “21rst” Birthday.  I was pregnant with LaTrisha on my real 21rst birthday, so I am going to have some fun with this.  Over the past several years we have spent our (Justin and I) birthdays in Orlando at Westgate Lakes Resort, bringing a few select friends along for a party weekend.  This year we opted to have a dual birthday party here at home  this weekend.  That way we can spend the time with ALL of our friends and family. Party it up!   Not to mention (well I am mentioning – teehee)  I have not had any traditional “Angela” parties in like 2 and half years. Due time.

To a more serious note.  I have been looking at my life and I realized I am truly ”Living my best life”.  See there is one thing I want everyone to know…. Always take what life deals you, and do the best you can with it. Because it is pretty simple… you can’t change what happens to you, but you can change how you handle it.  So cancer came along and Living my best life, is what I chose to do.  In my down time I plan for what I want to do and when I am up and able I do those things I want.  I have done more with my kids since cancer. You would think we were jet setters. The trip to Tennessee was awesome.  Like I said above, we normally would be heading to Orlando this weekend, but we decided to do something more personal this year.  Still we do plan on heading to Tampa to Howl-O-Scream before Halloween. And Guava-ween in Ybor as well. We are also decorating for Halloween to the max this year and pulling off a little haunt for our Trick or Treaters. Planning a Cruise in November (maybe). Might spend Thanksgiving in Jacksonville with my brother and his family.  The trip back to the cabin in Tennessee for Christmas is still open, however the kids are thinking they may actually want a more traditional Christmas at home, Like we did when they were growing up.  All the interior decorating I would do the the hilt (Christmas tree in every room), and then outdoors like we did when their Dad and I were married, with thousands of tasteful white litghs. The neighbors are going to be in Awe or blinded!  If we don’t go to Tennessee in December then we may go Skiing in January. Definitely going to Memphis, TN in the spring to see Graceland, I promised Skyelar that.  I don’t care if I am in a wheel chair with an IV, I am taking her.

I have to tell you laughter is the best medicine. I love to laugh, whether it is because I made someone else laugh, or because someone made me laugh.  Whether it is a comedy skit, TV show, or commercial, nothing feels better then laughing out loud.  Try it!  It’s great.  As strange as it may sound, we actually crack jokes about my cancer around here. It catches people off guard who are not used to it.  But it is all in fun.  Like… I want something specifically or am not getting my way, I will say “Excuse me… but I have cancer”; or I hear this reply… “What… you would think you have cancer or something”.  I guess that is just our way of dealing, and I am so happy my kids got a bit of my sense of humor. Marina and Nicky (LaTrisha’s boyfriend) learned quickly too.

My son’s girlfriend (Marina) is living with us.  We get along great.  I was thinking tonight.  How often can a girl of 21 years say she gets along with her boyfriends mother, but that she lives with her as well. Of course she could be lying and faking the whole thing.  lol.  But Justin goes out on his own, or is working, when she is not, and Marina and I can sit and talk about personal things, watch movies together, or get something to eat. She can talk to me about things she can not talk to her own mother about… I think that might be the bond.  Given she is Russian and her family is very strict about their ways and not melding with the American ways. I am more open than her mother is allowed to be, and Marina is more American then she is supposed to be. Not only is she learning our American ways,  she is learning our Southern ways. tried and true with greens and corn bread on the side.  I look forward to learning about her culture and country as well.

I  look at each new day, as an opportunity.  If  I am laying in bed, I can watch something on TV that teaches me, or takes me some where new. I can listen to Skyelar tell me what she learned.  I can help her with an assignment, knowing she learned something new. I can council LaTrisha with relationship advice, because I have been there.  I can encourage her in her endeavors to pursue her agenda at the Art Institute of Ft. Lauderdale.  She hopes to graduate while I am still here.  I wish so much for that.  Just as I encourage Justin to get back out on his own, that despite my health I know it is best for him.  I do what I can to promote his new business and pass along my advise and marketing skills to help that business grow.  That is just everyday stuff.   Now as I mentioned before I pray my kids learn the most important lesson from this journey we are on, and that is no matter what life deals them, to never be reduced by it.  Hit it head on.

I can only pray that my kids pay attention to all the little details, just in case I do not win this battle with cancer. I want them to remember how I was and what I taught them.  Because as much as I hate it,  my children may face breast cancer as well.  God how I love them!

Well I felt like writing and that is just what I did.  Now it is 4:00AM in the morning and I should have slept along time ago.

Good Day.