Oct 27, 2006 ~ Wonderfully Wicked

I have been feeling better and better every day. Basically back to my old self. Finally stopped taking the oxycodone all together.  You know it is highly addictive.  Guess the doctors figured I have cancer, getting addicted to pain medication was nothing.  But I have always hated taking any type of  medication.  Just don’t like to have things in my system that don’t belong there naturally.  So I asked for Celebrex, (simply because it is non-narcotic). But when I tried to stop taking the Oxy, I would get a nervous, jittery feeling.  Antsy and just plain irritable. But I weaned myself down to one a day and as of  this past Monday, took the last one and did not get the prescription refilled. Really sucked in the afternoons, and yesterdays headache from hell made matters worse.  All the more reason to stay off that stuff if I can.  I have been taking it since February. But no more!

So as bad as the pain has been in my hip, the pain meds really were not helping with that.  I started walking again last Monday, the same long distance I used to run.  I bit my lip through the first few miles, but after that the pain lessened up.  So I have continued to walk every night, and I think it is helping, by tightening the muscles and giving more support to the hip joint affected by the cancer in it.  I know I am feeling so much better for it.  Even hobbled out a short run/jog the other night. Was not pretty to see, LaTrisha laughed hysterically.   Don’t tell my doctor.  Not supposed to do that. But I am determined to Run again.  With everything I have, I will run again.  Sounds dramatic, doesn’t it?  Atleast I can walk, not everyone is that fortunate, but Running is a part of me.  It’s a goal for now, to prove I can overcome what they have said I will never do again.  Just a “step” in beating this damn disease.

There is a certain someone who has put a smile in my heart, a twinkle in my eye and that skip in my step.  My cousin seems to think that he (that someone)  has played a big part in my recent good health, and I say if that is the case then bring it on baby, I want more!  I just feel extremely happy and fortunate. It is not that I depend on a man for my own happiness, just that my heart is smiling and it is reflecting on the rest of my life naturally.   

My ex-husband and I talked and he reassured me our friendship will never be threatened by his new marriage. That this should change nothing between us. I know that sounds strange to many who have been through a divorce, but he and I both realized after ours, we married each other for a reason, and caring about each others well being would never change. After all we know each other better then any one else.  So We will see. I feel if it does change, then that is probably the course it was meant to take.

Oh I cut my hair off again. Short bob.  Dyed it light brown and drastic bleached stripes.  I like shaking it up a bit from time to time. The brown will fade soon, it never holds too long.

AND my Muse is back.  My creative urges are flying in at all times, and Thanks for a new drafting/art table from Justin for my Birthday, I now can work on paintings freely when ever that muse hits me. Everything is pretty much set up and always awaiting me. It calls my name these days. And I am loving it!